969. Find Your True Self

In this episode, I dive deep into one of the most powerful journeys a person can take — the journey of discovering who they really are. Inspired by a passage from Earl Nightingale, I unpack what it means to “prospect for gold” within yourself — to dig past the surface and uncover the buried strengths, truths, and potential that make you who you are.

I share my story of hitting rock bottom in 2017 —the moment I stopped running from myself —and how reading, writing, and reflection became the tools that helped me rebuild from the inside out. This episode is about learning to value the process of digging, even when it’s uncomfortable. Because the gold is there — buried deep — and the effort you put into finding it is what shapes your fulfillment in life.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, lost, or uncertain about who you are or what’s next, this episode will remind you that the most interesting and rewarding journey you’ll ever take isn’t out there — it’s within you.

Transcript

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All right. 3, 2, 1. Let's get it this morning. I'm reading out of Earl Nightingale's book. This is Earl Nightingale and I love buying used books, um, because I like to see the inscriptions from other people like this. You know, this, this one was written, it says in the in the front to mother with love and best wishes, always. From Barry Christmas, 1969, and, you know, used books are just like really fascinating for me because I like to see what other people highlighted and kind of envision, like, why did they, why did they highlight that, that certain area? It just, it just, it fills me with curiosity. And so this morning. I set my timer for 15 minutes and I just randomly, you know, the, his sections in these books, they're like one or two pages, so they're kind of, they're kind of like daily affirmations and so like if you're just getting in the reading, that may be something that you kind of want to jump into is a little short books. Brian Eisenberg has a good book like that. There are only a couple of, I think I swallowed an elephants, the name of it. I think they're only a couple of pages long, uh, e each chapter. Um, one that I really like is Kevin Kelly's, uh, excellent Advice for Living. And these are just like short little snippets and so. You know, if you don't like to do a lot of reading or if you're just kind of starting out, do something like that. One, one reason why I'm a fan of random reading is they're not huge time commitments, and so you could just set your timer. It's arbitrary. I say 15 minutes. Sometimes I, I, I get the meat of what I wanna go with and what I wanna write about and unpack in my soul. In five minutes. Sometimes it's a little bit longer, and for those days where it's just not there at all, then I have thousands of recorded voice memos that I've left to myself and I go back and listen to those. And something somewhere is going to spark something. But you know, the, the part of it is the continuous learning. Reading that 15 to 20 minutes is the consistency of that. But then also the other part of writing and reflecting, and I think you should always write. Longhand long form. Those of you who look on my Instagram stories, you see, I post what I, what I write every single day. Uh, most people DM me and say they cannot read anything that I write. And I'm like, me too. So a lot of times, man, I have to read around the words and then like kind of form, I can kind of catch a couple of words and then I can form the sentence and it kind of triggers the thought. I'm like, ah, yeah, and I remember, but I have. Hundreds of legal pads in this trunk down below. Uh, to, to my left here, those of you who are watching on video that are full of my legal pads that I've been writing since 2017, the legal pads I really like, um, because they don't have the. Front and back that I have to hold one side open while I write. I like the legal pad and I have a little, you know, binder that I keep it on. That way it kind of serves as a table. Uh, if I'm writing on the fly or don't have anything hard to write on, I like to write in my lap. So anyway, this morning I'm reading out of Earl Nightingale's book and I wanna read this to you 'cause it's on self discovery and I think it's, I think it's important. And I don't wanna be all superficial with it or anything like that, but I, I just, I want to, I wanna read it to you for context and then just kind of backfill it with, you know, my own story, how, how I relate to these things. So I'm always, when I'm reading, I'm always looking to relate to connect to something on here. So how does it connect to me? I don't ever want to get on here and. Spit something out just because I read it and I think it sounds intelligent. No, if, if I can't either relate to it because I've lived it or am living it or it's something like, it's a new challenge, very interesting that I want to go live it and try it out for the day and apply it to my life.'cause continuous learning is one of the life skills that we have to develop. It's the basis of this podcast. Then it's for nothing. Um, and so this is on self discovery. It's on page 2 73 for those of you who have a 1969 book and are reading along with me. If not, I got you. So it, it's, uh, it, it's on self knowledge and the title of the chapter is You're Different. Now, you can also side piece, you can also check out these classics, man, through your local library and you don't have to. Maybe we need to do an episode on that. How to get your library card. And it's not your tradition, traditional library card. Like you, A lot of, I, I like to go to the library and get physical books, but you can check out books, uh, digitally, uh, free of charge. And a lot of times you can request the books and they'll buy 'em for you. And that way you don't have to buy 'em. But you know, just. It doesn't take much of an investment other than your time to become well learned it, and it doesn't take a lot of time. And this is why I'm just, I preach all the time of random reading every single day. If you wanna just stick with a book, that's cool. If you want to jump around a little bit like I do, I get in my seasons. Some days I like to stay with one book. Other days I like to. You know, read from various books. I'm powering through the one thing, but I jump around. I'll come back to it in a couple of days, but some days I just, as soon as I sat down this morning with my coffee, I walked, the dogs sat down, I just stared at my bookshelf, and this one just jumped out there at me and said, read this. So let me, let me read this to you. This is toward the end of the chapter. Here's what Earl Nightingale writes. He said, finding the real selves. Our real selves. Lemme say it like that. We usually keep buried is like prospecting for gold. It's not necessarily easy, but we don't mind the digging so much when we know the gold is really there. It's not like plowing barren ground riches are there sometimes way down deep, but somewhere in all of us. But somewhere in all of us, it is not like plowing barren ground. Richards are there. Somewhere way down deep, but somewhere in all of us. And unless a person can find his true self, he will never really know what it means to be truly fulfilled. To wake up in the morning, eager for the day to begin and to end reluctantly a day which has been filled with interest and challenge, which has taken some of the best he had to give. The most interesting journey a person can make is that of discovering himself. And that was the, that was the, the, the hook for me when I read that, I'm like, man, the most difficult, I mean the most interesting journey a person can make is that of discovering himself. And I can tell you this firsthand, the scariest, darkest, brightest, funnest, beautiful. Complete I've ever felt is when I. Discovered myself, went on a journey to discover myself. And it's a constant journey. It's not something like, okay, ding, you're there, you, you're never going to arrive. And I think that's what's so intriguing, which is why I want to share it with you. So I say it's scary, it's dark because there's some things, man, you gotta confront. There's some things that you, you, you've been running from yourself for many, many years. I was a runner for years and it wasn't until. Which is the basis of this podcast. It wasn't until 2017 when I hit rock bottom. I was damn near checked outta here, um, because I had lost all the material things and so the material accolades and the relationships and the nice fancy stuff and all that, like I was, I was bottomed out man, and. You know, when you're stripped of all those things and you have to confront yourself, bro, that's gnarly. That is like some of the most scariest times that you'll be, because when you have nothing else to pacify yourself with and all you have is mono o mano, like, what's up marsh? Because you, you finally just like, it's like you hit the wall and you turn around and you're like, oh. I've been running from you for years, and that's what happened for me. And I bring this to you because I want you to discover yourself in a way that's on your terms. And you can do it bite-size. It's not like you just gotta go down this deep abyss. It will be a little scary at times because you get to digging. It's not superficial. And I like the fact that he said it's like prospecting for gold because I can say this, I mean just in high school classes or whatever, we talked about the gold rush back in the days. I, I, you know, when people went to California to, to go mine for gold, I think my dad went like, year, he's not that old, but, uh, you know, he, he went, you know, just some little tour or something. But you know when, when, when people went out there in search for gold. First they heard the rumors of it and they heard the stories. Some of the stories were, some people just struck it rich. But then there were other stories too, I'm sure, where there was tragedy, like people didn't make it. And so that's why I say like it's, you know, it's it. It's scary and that really is a metaphor for your own life. And so when you're prospecting for gold, I mean, if it was evident then everybody would just have a bunch of gold, and gold wouldn't be worth what it's worth today, I would imagine. And so it's the same thing for you. And so when you're discovering yourself, it, it really is like prospecting for gold. And he says it's not necessarily easy. Yeah, but you don't mind the digging when you know the gold is really there. And see, what I found was interesting with that is do you know there's really gold within you? And I don't, I don't want to sound like Mr. Motivational speaker when saying that. I kind of like, when I was writing this down this morning, I was like, do you know there's gold within you? I mean, but really it is man. Like there. Our qualities and talents and skills that are uniquely yours. I think that's the name of his chapter where he says, you're different and that's the first thing you gotta embrace. Like why is it we want what everybody else has? But see, somebody wants what you have. Somebody would give their left arm, you know, to to have what you have. And we're so fixated on eating outta the other Dog's Bowl. Like we have the same opportunities. We have even probably better opportunities, but we don't take stock in those things. And I really like the fact that if you will turn, even though it's not going to be easy, and you give yourself some credit that, look, I don't know what's within me. I don't know what my real capabilities are. I can tell you surface level, everything. Where you are right now is really on the surface. Once you get up in there and you realize, look, it's gonna take some digging, but I don't mind putting in the effort. I don't mind putting in the work. Because I have faith and belief that something deeper down in inside of me is there. But if you think you're gonna find it in a couple of hours, if you think you're gonna find it in like two days, it, it don't happen that way. The richest minerals are find in the, are found in the deepest depths of the earth. They are. They're, they're not like, just scrape it off the, the top. But that's what we, that's what we do. We are like, man, I've been doing this for like four days, and life is just like kinda laughing at you like, this is a lifestyle. This is a journey. Like I said, it was me hitting rock bottom in 2017. I was like. Bro, I gotta, I gotta change. And it was picking up a book, reading for a little bit before work and then writing word for word. Because what was going on in my head, I didn't wanna write that. So I had to borrow someone else's voice until I could get my own. But it was writing those things that enforced it. And then what happened is it began to change the channels. It began to change the way I started looking at things. And this is. When I went on a journey of self-discovery, and it's a lot of digging, it's continuous digging, and there are things that I uncover about myself that aren't cool, aren't good, but that's the discovery part of it, man. But there's a lot of great things within me as well. So let's get back to the book. He said it is not like plowing barren ground. Baren ground means like, I don't know. The first thing I think of is like rice fields. I live in south Louisiana, and like it's just all crusty and solid like cement. And he said it's, it's not like. That at all, at, at first, it's gonna look that way. You, you, you probably think that you're barren ground. You think that you've lost it all time has passed you by, you would've, should, could have. You shouldn't have done this. You could have done this. I mean, bro, you can replay that all day long, but that ain't gonna get you nowhere. That's the barren ground kind of mentality. The but, and, and Nightingale says, it's not like it's barren ground. You got riches in there. But they're down deep, but they're somewhere in all of us. That's what's, what's what's really great is you are a hundred percent safe and a hundred percent guaranteed when you go on a, a, a discovery. When you go on a, a journey of self discovery, you are, you're a hundred percent safe. It is gonna feel scary. It is gonna feel like at times when you get down deep in the darkness of your soul. It's a little scary. Um, but. You're in good company, you're, you're gonna be okay. And so there may be some emotions that's gonna pull at you heavy, and it's gonna, it, it's gonna yank you around a little bit and it's gonna scare the shit out of you. Keep digging, keep digging. And if you'll do this, and just remind yourself, man, there's gold in there. There, there, there's something in here. I, I gotta find it. And, and the effort is, it's what's gonna help you dig that up. And he said that it's, it's in all of us though. It's way down deep, but it's somewhere in all of us. Where is that somewhere for you? He continues on and unless a person can find his true self, this is my favorite part. Unless a person can find his true self, he will never really know what it means to be fulfilled right there. Unless a person can find his true self, not the bullshit Instagram self, not the self that you just prop, you know, prop up in front of everybody else. You get into the limelight and then you're just this dick behind the the scenes. No, unless a person can find, dude, there's a sense of contentment of peace about that. Be some rough waters at first man, but you get out there to see man. He gets, he gets calm and there's a sense of, of peace and liberation and freedom and control. When you, when you, when you find your true self and, and until you find that, he says, you're never gonna know what it means to be fulfilled. A fulfilled life is in the five areas of your life, your faith, your family, which is also relationships, your fitness, mental fitness, spiritual fitness, financial fitness, physical fitness, emotional fitness. So in your fitness and your finances, okay? You don't want to, you wanna work for the future. You don't wanna borrow from the future all the time. Um, and then you're, um. And your fulfillment and the fulfillment part is your professional and creative fulfillment. So the things like you go out there to work. And you, you, you, you, you, you do some creative things. There's some things that hell dude, if it's model cars you like to put together, just, you know, just a little bit of escape. If you like putting puzzles together, playing Sudoku or whatever the hell it's called, then do that. If you like just working out, sculpting your body, then that's cool too. Like whatever it is you like to just go run. Go do it. But you know, until you find your true self, like the fulfillment is not out there. It's not in accolades, it's not in a fancy house, it's not in a car. It's not in how much money you make, bro. Some of the most miserable people have some of the nicest, the and, and endless money, and they're just, they're just not good souls man. It's because they're not truly fulfilled. They haven't gone on a journey of self-discovery, and until you do that. You, you, you'll never know what it means to be truly fulfilled. And I'm telling you, and, and this is something, I can tell you this, but you can only experience it, but you can just go on it in bite-size increments every single day. Now this is how he ends it to wake up in the morning, eager for the day to begin. Okay, so let me, let me back up. And unless a man can find, unless a person can find his true self, he will never know what it means to be fulfilled. Truly fulfilled to wake up in the morning, eager for the day to begin, like when the alarm goes off, do you wake up with dread, bro? I wake up, yes. I'm tired at times, but I wake up so eager because, and part of the eagerness is like. It. I, I love the morning times. I love early in the mornings, and so I love enough time before anybody else gets up. You know, it's, it's five in the morning when I'm recording this, and so I love the fact that I can come into my office alone. It's quiet. Well, of course the dogs are with me, and then I just stare at the shelf and just a, a book pops off the shelf for me. And then I love, I don't know what I'm about to read. I don't know what I'm about to share. I don't know what I'm about to write. I have no idea, but I'm eager with those things because it, it's just something new every single day. And so eager, you know, for the day to begin. Because I can win the day before noon. You know? I get my writing in, I get my reading in, I get my working out in, I, I sit with myself a little while I, I get these things done. So no matter what happens in the day, man, I'm, I'm already, I'm already good. And to end reluctantly a day that has been filled with interest and challenge. Like, you get to the end of the day and you're like, reluctant, man. You're like, ah, man, it's already over. And he said, because it's been filled with interest and challenge, and it just made me think like, how was yesterday? Was it filled for you? Was it filled with interest and challenge? What interested you? What were you curious about? What piqued your curiosity? But you didn't go down that rabbit hole. Because you, you, you just rushed off to something else. You got the fomo, you're gonna fear of missing out on something. Like what piques your curiosity? And maybe, and this is the thing that I want you to ask today, like, I want you to end the day fulfilled, like a filled up day. So what piqued your curiosity? What was the challenge? I mean, why do we want smooth roads all the time? It's not like I wanna go into. World War III every single day. But like, what pulled at you, man? What was a challenge? What was something like scared the shit out of you for a minute? What was the thing like you didn't have the answer and you were just, you know, you, you nuts tightened up. You're like, oh, whoa, and it just scared you and you, you figured it out. Okay, what was the challenge? And he said, and, and then, and I love this and, and, uh, so lemme back up. To end the day reluctantly a day that has been filled with interest and challenge and which has taken some of the best he had to give. Like how much of yesterday with interest and challenge, like took a piece of you, like, that's cool. Like you laid it on the line, it took a piece of your ass. It took a piece of your soul, it took a piece of your heart, but it didn't take it for nothing. It gave you something back in return, a deeper sense of self. See that? That's what I say, like when you get stretched, man. With interest and with challenge, and you just chase this thing. And that's what I want you to do today. I want you to chase it. I want you to end the day and be like, bro, how, how filled up is this tank today? Is it a hundred percent full? Am I just like, I mean, I'm just, I'm wiped out, but I'm, I'm also re-energized.'cause I'm just like, I feel like I'm alive. Got my ass kicked a little bit, but I'm alive. Okay. I, I'm in control. I'm, I'm learning things. I, I'm curious, I'm, I'm stretching. Okay. And I'm discovering myself. I'm discovering new things about myself. That's everything, man. And when it took a piece, a piece of you, but it's gonna give back a deeper sense of self, a deeper sense of discovery, and he ends that. The most interesting journey a man can take, can make is that of discovering himself. Did you make that journey, man? It's a hundred percent voluntary. And this is what I say. You just, you don't need a lot of time every single day. Uh, y'all know how I preach. You wake up at a set time. When I say a set time, it doesn't have to be a butt crack a morning like some people. Work later or whatever. Okay, whatever, whatever works for you. I say just enough time for you to take care of you without getting pulled by your family, the, the rest of the world, blah, blah, blah. Like take care of you first. And just if you wanna follow my ritual for now until you can find your own, just. Segment, 10, 15 minutes to read. Or if you like to listen to something, I would say read.'cause it kind of helps your focus. Then write about it, like what's your take, what's your riff? And then share it. Like, you can share it on your Instagram stories if you just want a communication's key. I can tell you this, like the sharing part of it, not only does it help me learn deeper, but it also helps me communicate better too. So that way, you know, I, I get, I just did it. The, you knows and uhs. But the more I do this, the more comfortable I get with it, the more I can continue on doing it. And communication's key. So when I go into certain areas or meeting, you know, some elevated people, I can communicate. I can stare. Okay, I can stare in that lens right there. I can, I can stare in this mic. Let's go. I'm not like. It's key, but that's part of communication. But man, the most interesting journey, like you, you, you, you wish you could go travel somewhere else. How about traveling within yourself? Okay. And again, it's gonna be kind of scary at times, but it's also gonna be beautiful because you're going to get, you're going to experience, again, I can tell you this, but you gotta experience it for yourself. You're going to experience. And have a sense of peace about you and a sense of, okay, I'm in control of my life. I don't know how the day, what the day is gonna bring, but it's nice to know that. I am discovering new capabilities about myself. It's nice to know that I've discovered some, some toughness about me, some creativity about me, some curiosity about me that I've pushed myself in rooms that at one time I didn't belong in, and even today my mind says, oh, you don't belong here. I'm there. I'm there. So that's what I wanna share with you today from Earl Nightingale. I don't know what the hell I'm gonna read tomorrow, but that's the intrigue. So I hope you have a full filled. Life, but also a full day. So at the end of the, the day today, I want you to just ask yourself like how, how filled up was it? And if it wasn't very filled, it was kind of 50%, man, you kind of avoided the world'cause you just kind of wiped out a bit. It's okay. The awareness is the number one thing and then tomorrow make it a new challenge. That's what's beautiful about this. Like we're eager to take on the day we're prospecting for gold within and it's gonna take a piece of us. Okay. But it's also gonna give us back a deeper sense of self. Alright? Thanks for sharing this show. Please help grow it. Share it with someone who needs this episode. Remember, keep it simple, keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough. Peace. I.