965. What Eats At You? (Giving In To Your Purpose)

Most people spend their lives trying to find their purpose—
but what if your purpose isn’t something you discover, it’s something you allow?

In this episode, I break down a powerful shift in perspective:
 Purpose doesn’t come from chasing titles, money, or status.
 It rises when you surrender—when you stop forcing your way and start aligning with life’s way.

You’ll hear how pain became the platform for my own purpose, and how to identify the signal beneath the noise by asking one simple question:
👉 What eats at you when you don’t do it?

This isn’t about giving up—it’s about giving in to what’s already within you.

If you’ve been searching for meaning or feel like you’ve lost your direction, this episode will help you reconnect with what’s always been there.

🎧 Tune in to discover how to stop trying to find your purpose—and start allowing it to emerge.

Transcript

0:00

All right. 3, 2, 1. Let's get it. Welcome to episode 9 65 of What's Your Problem? The podcast almost says, what's your purpose? Because that's what we're talking about today, man, your purpose, like, what's your purpose? And I titled today's episode like What Eats At You. And so when I get to writing in the mornings, sometimes what I, what I'll do is, is. I will look up a, the definition of a word, like I may, I know a word, like I know of the word purpose, but never really like opened up the meaning and how it really relates to you. And that's one reason why I like reading sometimes on electronic devices, um, is because you could just push the word, it'll open up the definition, and so you kind of let that full definition swirl around in your head. Um, while you're continuing to read. So that's what I did this morning. I looked up, I said, you know, let's talk about purpose, because I think a lot of people struggle with that. Um, I still struggle even though I know my purpose, I still struggle with it, and I'll explain why here in just a second. So let's start for context. Let's start with the definition of purpose. Purpose is the reason something is done. There's a purpose in everything you do or, or it's for which something exists, which I think what we do, and again, I'll unpack this, what we do and why we exist, really kind of cohabitate with one another. So for context, I was reading out of Tommy Baker's book. Leap of your life. And he said this, and this is the thing that snagged me. And it's like, man, that's, that's interesting. He said, as it relates to purpose, you don't discover anything, you allow it. Well let that sit with you for a second. As it relates to purpose, you don't discover your purpose. You allow it. And a lot of times like, isn't that what we do? We're like, man, I, I don't know what my purpose is. It's because you're in a form of discovery when actually true purpose is a form of surrender. And I believe sometimes life has a way of. Boxing you in to the point where you say, I give up and, and, and see. So there's two forms of, of giving up, giving up. One way is like, I quit and you just don't do anything. You just vegetate in life. That's not the kind of giving up. I'm talking about when life boxes you in and you get to a, a, a place of surrender and you give up. You're actually giving in, but you're giving in to your way. The way you've just been hammering it through, whether it be your way, whether it be you're following someone else's way and trying to make it your own. All hands raised on that for me. And it has a what Life has a way of just getting you to this point where you're like, you're exhausted, right? And you just, you, you, you just give up and you're giving up to your way. And you're giving in surrendering to life's way. And bro, lemme tell you something. I, I can't accurately, adequately describe what this sensation is like. You can only experience it. I'm just trying to, you may have some semblance of this, or you may be going through this right now. Maybe you're just like, what? But I'm telling you life will ultimately get your attention, may take a while, may think you're getting away with it, but life has a way of, of, of, of getting you to this point. And you're just like, you, you, you just let life take over And I'm sharing this with you because I still struggle with this, even though I know my purpose, I still struggle to do it my way. And so I'm trying to discover, I'm trying to find my purpose. When in fact, back to Tommy's point, you don't find it. You allow it, and it's kind of a weird thing, man, to just kind of release the, the reigns in life and let life do its thing. You still have to do your part. I'm not saying you just like, well, and sit in the grass with dandelions and butterflies. I'm, I'm not talking about that man. You, you still gotta struggle. You still gotta put in the work. But you do have to do it a different kind of way. You have to allow it, allowing your purpose is not in what you do out there. That's, that's a part of, I mean, if you think about like, I'm trying to find my purpose, you know, just not quite sure what it is. You're looking externally, you're looking in accolades, income, job positions, locations. You're looking out there when in fact. That, that that's the discovery part. When in fact, purpose is intrinsic and when you allow it, it actually comes up from within. Lemme put it like this. It's not about what you do out there. Whatever job position you're in, you, you may, you know, I'm, I'm doing what I want to do. I'm, I'm doing how I wanna do it. Yeah. But sometimes that's, sometimes that's your way and you may have. A troubled spirit about you. Like you just, it's just not all the way it seems like, you know, I thought this is what I wanted, but now you're like, but then you kind of have this sunk cost thought and you're like, well man, I've, I've really put everything I had into this. I mean, I kind of gotta make it work. And you kind of bend it that way, but then you find yourself sabotaging. Yourself on the, on the weekends unwinding excessively and as a way of coping, it's because you're not allowing your purpose to, to come up. Let me, let me put it like this, your purpose. Can never be taken from you. When you allow your true purpose in life, it's something no one can take from you. So in other words, if you think your purpose is to be in a certain job position or have a certain status in life, but those things can be taken from you. When you allow your purpose to come up from within, it doesn't matter what the externals is. It doesn't matter what's going on. No one, no one, no one can, can take that away from you. They can try, they can try to minimize it, but they can't fully take that away from you. That's a different way of, of looking at your purpose. And so if you find yourself in this situation in life where you're like frustrated, like, you, you, you can't figure this out. It's because you're looking for it out there. You're trying to find it in a status, a accolades, money, possessions, position. Job title, location. You're trying to find it out there when your purpose has been with you the whole time, but there's so much noise, which has created clutter and confusion and, and angst in your life that it's blocking that, that true signal. And again, I'm not trying to get all woo woo here. I'm like, it really is. It really is something that's, that that's magical. And so life has a way and pay attention to this. Life has a way of narrowing the lanes in your life to a point where you finally allow your purpose to manifest, to do its thing. And so life will narrow these lanes until you get to this dead end, but it's a dead end just from your ways. It's not a dead end in life, it looks like that, but it's a dead end to your way and it opens up the doorway for life to show you a different experience, a different way of living, and. And bro, lemme tell you something. It's scary, but it's peaceful. It's scary because you're like a lot of what ifs. How? I mean, what am I supposed to do? And I'm not saying you just drop the reins in life. Look, you have obligations and so you gotta take care of those things, but you also have a responsibility, and the responsibility is to yourself. Sometimes your purpose is allowed to come in. As a result of pain, pain becomes the platform of your purpose. That's what it was for me. I was at rock bottom, I was demoted, I was bankrupt. I was depressed because I was alone and. I got to a point where I was like really ready to just end it all and I gave up. I was mentally exhausted, I was physically exhausted. I was like, I can't do this. And that was, that was the time I surrendered. This was 2017. I surrendered to it and it's, and it's funny because when that happened, as painful as all of that was. Because I was demoted. I was told you, you can't hold meetings anymore. You can't write articles for publications anymore. Like go get yourself together. Because I was telling everybody what to do, but I wasn't. I wasn't doing any of it. I was sabotaging my own life because I was chasing something external and. I got to this rock bottom moment in my life where I finally just gave up and I gave in to life and I was like, I, I can't do this anymore. Like just whatever. And then life had a way of showing me in the pain, the things that I love to do. What are they? I love to read. I love to write. I love to communicate. I love the creativity of of, of the compressed time. See, I've, I've been in sales now going on 28 years, and so I'm in car sales, so everything is compressed, right? So those of you who are in real estate. Okay. The, the, the period is longer for customers to buy for car sales. It's like, we gotta do this in an hour.'cause they're never coming back. So everything is compressed and I like that. I like the thrill of that, the, the thrill of starting with nothing and coming up with something in an hour. 30 minutes, 45 minutes, whatever, in an a very compressed amount of time. So it's caused me to have to think creatively, be curious, very spontaneous, um, very impulsive, and really like put something together. And so that same mindset really has translated well for me the way that I read. Reading for, I didn't have a lot of time. I worked 10 hours a day, so compressed amount of time, 15, 20 minutes of reading. I like to read something new every day. So I do that. And then writing about what I've learned, writing about what I just read, what's what's, how do I contextualize it? That's what this is. How, how do I see it? How can I explain it to myself? That's what my writing is. I'm just explaining it to myself. And then me sharing it is a way of me gaining a deeper understanding of what I'm learning, and then because it's compressed in a short amount of time, it's bite sized, so it's not so monumental. It's like, man, I don't know where to start. It's just 15 minutes of reading, 20 minutes of writing. Write at least one page and then go live it. That's the game in life for me. And I realized, When I allowed life to do its thing, she showed me, this is the thing that I want you to do. This is what is aligned with the energy of your life. And so using all that, I created the podcast. The podcast I just turned a mic on because it may help someone else. It's really for me to gain an understanding and deepen my understanding, so that way I can go live it. My purpose is to be a living example of what's on the other side of too late. And see there's, there's a reason why I wasn't a phenom at 25 or 35, why I was just a train wreck at 45. There's a reason for those because my purpose is to be middle aged in life and to show you. It ain't too late. I don't care where you are in life, it's not too late. And to be a living example of, look, I've blown it all up and I'm still going, and you can too. That's my purpose and I live that now. I'm not saying that you have to hit rock bottom to allow your purpose to come in. You, you more so. I have to just pay attention to the signal. And the signal is within, like what's the thing that eats at you? This is why I titled this episode. What eats at you? In other words, like for me, when I don't read and I don't write and sit with myself and write and I don't share. And communicate that to get a deeper understanding. Like, I have to voice these things out when I don't do those things that eats at me. And so, like Tommy, Tommy said, this purpose has nothing to do with friction and effort. It has everything to do with what you can't do. And when I read that, I'm like, whoa, wait. Purpose has nothing to do with friction and effort. When it has friction and effort to it, it's because you're chasing something. You're out of alignment with the energy and chasing something that's out there. It's ego dominated when in fact it's something that you can't do. So when I can't, for my own sake, when I can't read for 15 minutes. And write about what I just learned and share that with myself and communicate that and contextualize that and gain a deeper understanding and then go, so that way I can go live it that day when I don't do that, man, that, that eats at me. And so that's why I share that with you, man. Like what's the what, what eats at you? Like what's the thing like when you can't do it? I just, oh my God. I just, I'm just not, not a happy person during that time. I just don't feel good. I don't, I just feel outta sync. What is that for you? That's the signal you need to pay attention to. And that thing is right there within your signal's with you. The whole time it's just been blocked.'cause you have too much clutter, you have too much chaos and you're not paying, you're doing things that you think that. Is your purpose when in fact your purpose is riding with you the whole time. So, and, and look, I'm not, I'm not talking about something that could be monetized. That's the first thing people ask me. Like, well, how much you make on your podcast? I never started the podcast to make money for, anyway. It was a platform, a mechanism for me to like, basically I leave my mental notes behind and so that way I can reference back to 'em. But my children can reference back to 'em long after I'm gone. But then I leave them behind, they're breadcrumbs and I leave 'em behind for you. It's just a way of me contributing to you, not for some sort of selfish gain. Life's gonna do what it's gonna do with it anyway. It's just a method of me fulfilling, allowing what I need. The energies to do in my life, and I hope that I'm, I'm really making sense of this because it, this is really something that is really a game changer for me, and I share this with you. I bring this to you today because it wasn't until writing this that I realized like. When I'm trying to create the next message just to create the next message as a form of, well, let me tell you something else I learned. When I do that, even though it looks like it's the same, it's not when I pay attention to the inside, what do I need to read today? How do I understand it? Let me speak it out so I can gain a better understanding and then I can go live that that's different. That's when I'm aligned with that energy and my purpose, and when I'm not, when I'm just trying to bring another message, trying to bang another message out, I'm out of alignment. And that's when I get frustrated because I'm trying to do things externally instead of just adhering. So it's never said it and forget it. You get away from these things. You get away from the fact that the podcast is, for me, it's a way of me contributing to others, but it's for me so I can understand it, so I can live it. And maybe along the way it'll help you too. And when you can, when you can get to this and keep it simple. I say at the end of every episode, like, keep it simple. I'm telling myself that like the complexity is what robs you. And so when you, when you don't keep things simple in your life. And it gets complex because you're trying to make this into some sort of model business model. You're out of alignment. And I'm not saying you can't monetize it. I'm saying that you have to stay very close to your internal purpose. And just allow life to do its thing. It's, it's really a form of surrender. So pay attention. That's what I want you to do. As you listen to this episode this week, pay attention and it may just be like, just relax. You know, you, you do. You have to loosen your grip and let life kind of take. Better control and you just do your thing. Again, you have obligations, but you do have a responsibility. So you fulfill your obligations, but you also fulfill your responsibility and responsibilities for yourself, and it's to draw inward and pay attention to that signal of your true purpose. Alright, I, I sure hope I explain this in the right way and, and that it helps you. Because me sharing this is really just recalibrated me and re-centered me to help me. Alright? With that, remember, keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough. Peace.