922. Separation is good. Distance is bad.

Recently, I took a week off. I didn't write, read, or work out. The first few days felt good, but the good vibes quickly tarnished. I began to feel purposeless, hopeless, and dark. That is when I realized that separation is a good thing, but too much distance from the things that you care about can be very dangerous. 

Transcript

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All right. 3, 2, 1. Let's get it. Welcome to another episode of What's Your Problem, the podcast. I'm your host, marsh bi. And if you're watching this on video, man, you're going to see the sweat stains here. I just got finished with a, uh, run and I got to run to work, but I wanted to get this message out. I'm a big believer of making sure that I create something every single day, and many times I have a desire to get back to publishing a episode every single day. So we're working toward that. I'm trying to get this formulated and tighter so that I can actually do it because it's a, it's a necessary piece for me. Every single day I write, I read, I work out, uh, and I like to share something of value. This not only kind of sets the standard for me, but I feel like if I'm, if I'm going through something, someone else is probably going through it too. And so I kind of wanna turn my life inside out and share this. So, uh, thank goodness you're not sitting here with me.'cause you're gonna be like, boy, that boy kind of stank. So I didn't change. I got right in the chair. I activated the microphone. So let's rock out today. Today, man, I want to call this episode. Separation is good, distance is not. And I wrote this this morning because after a week, I don't know, a week, week and a half of taking off. Yesterday it really felt good to publish episode 9 21, and it was a really, really good feeling to read, to write, to kind of wrestle with those thoughts. I. And to riff out that podcast and then go work out. See, those are the things that bring me energy. And for you, it may be something totally different. You may be hearing this and be like, dude, you're kind of a wg job. Well, that's, that's the life forces. That's the thing that brings me energy. Those contribute to the life forces that I'll talk about here. But, you know, a week, week and a half ago, whatever it was, when, when I kind of dropped the reins, man, I felt like I just. Needed some distance, man, I felt kind of like a fraud. I, I, I felt like an imposter. And truthfully, man, I was kind of burned out. And so that's what I did. I dropped the reins and kind of walked away from it for a while. And I'm not gonna lie, man, the first. First few days, I guess. First day or two felt pretty good. Kind of felt free. It was like, okay, you don't, you just, just do whatever. But I can tell you this, man, those, those feelings quickly tarnished. I no longer felt relaxed. I actually felt lost. I didn't feel rested. I felt purposeless. And it got dark pretty fast. And that's when I realized yesterday, after I put out the episode and I was sitting there in church and I'm like, you know, separation can be healthy, but distance is dangerous. So before too much distance passed, I pushed myself yesterday to get back in it, bro, I didn't feel like it. I'm talking about I had the huge don't wants, you know, I just, you lose that rhythm, you lose that momentum and, you know, to, to get back into something that you've just kind of. You, you've lost some traction on it. It's kind of a helpless feeling, but I was like, Nope. Let's get back to how we first started, how it all started back in 2017. Set your timer for 15, 20 minutes. Read something random and then write about it. Share what's on your heart, and then go bust a sweat yesterday. As a matter of fact, if you listen to episode 9 21, you'll hear the Stumbles man. As a matter of fact, I recorded it and I'm gonna do it this time too. That I just riffed off the podcast and I clicked publish. I didn't edit it. You know, I, I don't, I don't talk without stumbling. There are times where I say something and have to start over again, and I was like, screw it. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm just gonna put it out there.'cause this is, that's how I talk. That's real life. And so I'm saying this to say that I wanna stay close to that energy. I want to stay connected to the things that give me life, and those are my life forces. It's all, start with the letter F. All, it's five of 'em. It's faith, it's family, which includes friends, it's fitness, it's finances. And when I say finances, I'm, dude, I'm, I'm not driven by money at all. I like to make money. I like to have that freedom. I like to have that separation. You know, I don't wanna struggle for anything. But the finances is important. Staying on top of it, protecting my family, and then the fulfillment. And when I say fulfillment, not only professional fulfillment, but also creative fulfillment. I get the best of both worlds. I, I live in a world of sales, been in sales for 27 years, so I, I get a i a a beautiful overlap right here in life. So not only do I have the creative fulfillment, which I read, I write, I share this episode with you. That's the creative aspect of it. But then as soon as I rock off this mic, man, I, I'm gone. I'm going to work and go bang out 10 hours in sales, brand new month. Let's go. And so I, I, I get that creative and professional fulfillment. The separation gives you perspective. It's kind of like when I played offensive tackle in, in college, you had to keep. The way we were taught you, you keep the, the, the, the defender at length and you had to do that so that way you could see what he was doing. Because if I got too far or I got too close, I would lose leverage. I would lose that vision. And there were many times when that happened that the quarterback actually got sacked. And the same goes for life, man. You need that space to assess, to realign, to adapt. You need that separation, but not too much because too much distance leads to momentum loss. You get outta rhythm and you really kind of turn dark. You see what's wrong. Instead of appreciating what's right, you feel hopeless. And when you lose touch, there's too much separation that becomes a distance and it's so elusive you don't realize it. But when you have the don't wants, when you start to get kind of dark, when you're starting to talk about gossip, when you talk about what's wrong with everything, you, you probably have morphed from separation into distance. And so when you lose touch with those life forces, this is what's gonna make you vulnerable. To vices, to bad decisions, to spiraling. So ask yourself today, man. This is why I bring this to you, because if I'm going through it, man, you may be too. As a matter of fact, I was texting my dad last night and he, my dad's had several. Lifespans man. He's retired several times and he just officially retired. He's 84 years old. He's very vital man. I mean, uh, uh, he's very active. He loves to work out. He, he moves around, he's independent. Him and his wife travel together. Um, you know, he, he, and he still writes, man, he still creates, he still, he talks. You know, he loves to talk. He's a, he's a great communicator, I should say. And I was talking to him yesterday, he recently retired, and he was like, marsh, I feel kinda lost. And I was like, yeah, me too. Um, and I had to get back in it and hopefully he gets back into it. He's just gotta find a new, a new traction in life. And so I bring you this because hey, me and Pops, we're feeling like this and you may be too. That healthy separation. It is a good thing, and maybe that's where you are right now. Maybe you just had to take a little mental knee, but just be very conscious of the fact that you don't let it slip into a distance. The separation is that mental knee where you can zoom out that macro perspective where you can realign, but the distance, and that's the dangerous part. The distance is when you abandon the things. That make you feel alive? That bring you energy and maybe, man, it's, it's a, maybe it's just a little bit of a shift. And so like my dad still loves to write, he still loves to communicate. So I'm like, well, how can you still do that and not have to answer to someone else, or, or just have an overburdened schedule? And that's what he's trying to find. I, I mean, I don't have the answer for him. He, he can. And that's the thing, man, only you can, these are all, these are all unique tests for all of us in life. And so when you're in this, if, if you're in this distance part right here, you're gonna have to push yourself and get, get back into it. You are, you're gonna have the don't want, you're gonna kick the can down the road. You're gonna, you know, you're just gonna, what if yourself or what happened and all like, just characterize that man. Stop it right then and there, and. Get back into it, push yourself into it. It's easy, easier to act your way into a feeling than feel your way into an action. Always remember that. That is so true. And so if you're waiting for the feelings to come along and then you start acting again, ain't gonna happen. You're gonna have to force the action, even though it's gonna be choppy, even though it's gonna be a soupy mass, and you're gonna feel stupid and you're gonna feel awkward, and you're gonna feel out a rhythm 'cause you got no momentum. You just gotta build it back. It's easier to keep it going than get it going. So. You get that thing going again and stay very close to the things that bring you the energy. Okay. And, you know, again, too much of, of one thing is, is a dangerous thing too. It's a, it's really a throttling. And so that's why I say separation is good. So that way you can kind of see the different areas. In your faith, in your family, in your finances and your, uh, fitness and your fulfillment, you can kind of see and make the adjustments. I'm doing it on screen so you can see it when you see it on the video. So seeing that gives you the ability to be able to look around a little bit and see what's happening, but then you can get back into it. You're separated, but you're not so far. Back where you've lost the momentum, where you've, you start to slip or you turn to things that you've worked so hard to get away from. We're all v vulnerable to that. We're all susceptible to those things, okay? And so that's the, that's the thing that I bring to you. Alright, so where are you right now? Love to hear from you. If there's anything I can do to help, I'd love to be able to help you out. I don't have the answers. I could just maybe, based on my life, I, I can't give you advice. I could just share what maybe works for me in hopes that maybe it works for you. So separation's a good thing. Distance is very dangerous, so be aware of that. All right. Please share this episode with one person who needs to hear it. Our many people, our group of people share this. This helps grow the show, man. There's a lot of people that don't know about what's your problem, and it centers around the three problems we all face. Adversity, uncertainty, and complacency. And so there are five skills that you have within you. Communication, curiosity, creativity, continuous learning and action, productive confrontation. Those five skills, you work within those every single day. You'll be able to handle the adversity, embrace the uncertainty, and never settle again. If you go back and listen to yesterday's episode, I was so far outta rhythm when I, uh, published that episode. I, I, I lost the footing of embrace uncertainty, handle the adversity, and never settle again. I mean, that's the thing, man. I just. Repetitious about, I say that all the time, and I stumbled over that and I felt stupid. I was like, damn, bro, you forgot. You forgot what it was. But I, you know, again, it was a week, week and a half. I got away from it. I wasn't saying it anymore. I wasn't saying it, so I wasn't living it either. And so that's proof positive. Man. I'm, I'm in this with you. Okay? I'm in this with you. So please help, uh, grow the show in any kind of way that you can. If there's something that you want to hear from me about, um, I'd love to hear from you. You can go to marsh bias.com. That's my name.com. Bottom right is a mic from me to you, and it comes just to me, man. And, uh, just let me know what I can, what I can do to help you. I'm all, I, I'm no hair, but, but I'm all here. So, all right, let's get out here. Hope you guys have an amazing day. Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle, stay tough peace. Oh, by the way, did this all in one take? No edits. Let's go. I.