903: Three Ways To Combat Low Self-Esteem

You don't suffer from low self-esteem; you've leaked it for some time. Today, we will change all that by simply asking 3 "What" questions. 

By the end of this episode, you will begin building your self-esteem back so you can become the best version of yourself.

Download your FREE self-reflection worksheet for this episode or https://www.marshbuice.com/blog/903-3-ways-to-combat-low-self-esteem/

Blog: https://marshbuice.wordpress.com/2025/03/23/3-ways-to-combat-low-self-esteem-and-reclaim-your-confidence/

Transcript

1:30

All right. 3, 2, 1. Let's get it. Welcome back to the show, and today I want to talk about your self-esteem and three ways that you can combat low self-esteem. Now, self-esteem is not really something that we like to talk about. It's a little bit of a taboo subject and a lot of times, man, we don't like to admit it to anybody that we just have low self-esteem. And you're gonna, hopefully by the end of this episode, you're gonna realize that there is something that you can do to combat low self-esteem. It's not like it's an eternal badge that you have to wear for the rest of your life. No. It's something that you can, I. Um, you can work and you can build up your self-esteem. And so that's what I want to help you with today because you need self-esteem to get through this life. There are gonna be things that are going to blindside you. There are gonna be things that, you know, that just come right at you. There are gonna be some things that you just, things are just gonna pop up in your life. And if you don't have. A good level, a good measure of self-esteem, then you're gonna find yourself. In, in a, in a trick bag so let me do this for context. Let me set up what the definition of self-esteem is, because self-esteem by definition is your confidence in your abilities or your worth. Now I wanna put worth on the table for a second. Let's just put that up on the shelf and then let's just. Go back to your abilities. So having a healthy sense of self-esteem. Having a good self-esteem is your confidence in your own abilities. And so when people say that they have low self-esteem, a lot of times we just hang our hat on that and we say, I'm, so, it's just, you know, I, I really suffer from low self-esteem. All you're basically saying is, is I don't have confidence. In my abilities, whatever the situation is, whatever the circumstances are, whatever I'm, I'm looking at what, you know, whatever that object is, I lack the confidence in my ability to be able to handle myself in these situations. Now, let me tell you this, someone's self-esteem is directly correlated. I. To how they handle tough situations. It is I if you want to put a pin in it right there. And so successful people or people that have a healthy measure, a good measure of self-esteem, you can call it high self-esteem, whatever you want to call it. Those people have the confidence in their ability. So whatever the situation is, it's not like they know the answer to everything. It's not about that at all. It's just whatever the situation is, they have confidence in their abilities to figure things out. Okay. There are gonna be things that are beyond their control. There are gonna be things that pop up that they did not plan for. There are gonna be moments that the mishaps, miscues, whatever the case may be, and people that have a healthy measure of self-esteem, good self-esteem, have the confidence in their abilities. They're like, shit, I don't know what I'm gonna do. But I'm gonna figure this thing out, versus someone that has low self-esteem, gets rocked with a situation, whether it be their fault, not their fault, whatever. Something pops up and the first thing they do is they gripe and complain. And really what they're saying is, I don't have any confidence in my abilities. That's really somebody who has low self-esteem. That's exactly what they're saying, but they're not saying it. Here's a covert way of, of seeing how you match up to someone. I. Listen to what they complain about. Listen to what they gripe about, listen to how much they do that. Are they continuously feeding that flame? Somebody who is constantly doing that has low self-esteem. They do because they don't have any confidence and their abilities to figure things out. And they do. And so they, this is what slides you into this victim hood. I've seen some people who had high self-esteem lose it. And the reason why they lost it is because they continued to fan the flames and talk about things and gripe and complain mostly about what's not even in their control. They gave their power away. They gave their independence away. They gave their freedom away, and this slides into this victim hood. They have no confidence and it's so elusive. You think that you could just put a cap on it and you think that, oh, okay, well, you know, I, I have the ability to gripe and complain. And continue to gripe and complain. You probably don't even realize how much you gripe and complain, so I can do this and I'm gonna be okay. No, because what happens is it's so deceiving. The baseline just always moves. So you complain a little bit and then you complain a little bit more, and then somebody else comes around around and you complain to them, they agree with it, they add their 2 cents, and now you guys are volume back and forth. And before you know it, you're grabbing a third person in a fourth person, and the next thing you know, you got a big complaining group and y'all all standing around in the huddle all with low self-esteem because y'all all lack the confidence in your abilities to figure things out. The successful people, A, they're not gonna sit there and gripe and complain on things that are outside of their control. They're gonna move on. So if you want a covert way to see how you measure up against somebody, listen to what they complain about. If you really want to know if somebody has high self-esteem, listen to what they don't complain about. They have burst of anger. They do. They'll, you know, anger has its place. You can express dissatisfaction. You just can't stay there, right? And so, successful people, people with a good dose of self-esteem, they complain, but it's a burst. And then they figure things out. They're not gonna continue to talk about it. And if you think about it. Listen to people that complain. What do they do? They keep talking and they just go round and round and round in the circle and you're like, bro, we've been talking about the same damn thing for 30 minutes. And then you see 'em again. They're complaining about either that compounded on top of something else, and then they're in a state of disbelief. They're in a state of victimhood. They are powerless in life. They earned it because that's exactly what they did. Now I say this because to pay attention to the people that you're talking to, to measure their self-esteem, but also I say this because you should measure your own self-esteem and the way that you measure your own self-esteem. Listen to what you're complaining about and how often. You'd be shocked now that you have an awareness. I hope you hear this message and then you start listening to what you're actually saying. A lot of times, bro, we don't even listen to what we're saying. We don't, we're just like spitting shit out. And because, hey, it fills in the gaps. It fills in time. It's nice to complain. It is because it just kinda like absolves you of any ownership. It's just you kind of give it away. That ain't my fault. That's the easy part, the tougher part, but more successful part is the hard part. Keeping your mouth shut and then. Asking these three questions that I'm gonna get to here in just a second. But again, I wanna reemphasize pay attention to how much, you're complaining because you could be leaking self-esteem. And you don't even realize it, and it'll eventually all leak out. It may be just little Cs, just, just little bitty seeps. But bro, eventually it's all gonna leak out and you're gonna be like, man, I don't know what happened. It all started with self-esteem. How do you handle tough situations? How do you handle tough circumstances? What do you run to? Because when you run to something griping and complaining, and sometimes the griping and complaining is on Netflix, sometimes the griping and complaining is on social media. Sometimes you're griping and complaining is on the phone calls and text messages, and sometimes you're griping and complaining is in the bottle or in the buffet line. That's, that's people with low self-esteem. Hate to say it, but that's what it is, because you lack the confidence in your abilities. So you're like, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna eat, I'm gonna watch Netflix. I'm gonna get in a text war. I'm gonna get on social media and see what everybody else is doing in their life. And we just release and we just float away. And we just, we just bury ourselves. No thing, or nobody will bury you faster than yourself and your lack of self-esteem. So how do we correct self-esteem? How do I get higher self-esteem? It's a quick fix. This is a course correction. It is the what, what and what. That's the three questions I'm gonna help you with to help build your self-esteem. You gotta build it back. It's not an own off switch, it's a dial. It leaks down, but then you can cauterize that and then start inching this thing up. The first what? The first question to ask yourself to help build your self-esteem Is, what am I worried about? What am I worried about? Why am I still talking about this? So when you see that your self-esteem is starting to leak out, just stop yourself right then and there. You're complaining. Why am I still talking about this? What am I worried about? And then here's where you get playful with it. Okay, what am I worried about? Well, this, this, this, and this. Dude, I want you to write those down. I mean, get creative with what are three of the worst case scenarios. Three, five, whatever. What would be, I mean, just have fun with it.'cause it ain't gonna happen anyway. What are the worst case scenarios? And then once you write those down. What skills and abilities do I lack in order to mitigate those or combat those fears? There you go. There's your ownership right there. Because a lot of your complaints are really regrets, they're just masked as complaints. You're complaining, but really they're regrets because you're looking at it, you know, it's something you should have been done a long time ago, and you just kind of like your skills. You didn't continue to evolve and strengthen your skills and abilities, and you just kind of coasted. And now the chickens have come home to roost with bird flu and all, and now, now you're sick. It's all right. We're gonna get you healed again. So the first what question, what am I so worried about? Lay it all out. Have fun with it. The second thing is, based on those fears, what skills and abilities do I lack? And the third question, what's the next step? What's my next move? And do like what coaches do, coaches script out the first plays of the game. So in that same manner, that's what I want you to do. I want you to script out three steps. I want you to script out your next three moves. What is the first thing I'm gonna do? Boom. I would tell you the first thing. Let me just fill in the blank for you. Shut the fuck up. Stop complaining about it to everybody. Stop complaining about it to yourself. It is just you. You regrets. You put yourself in a vulnerable position. If you boiled it all down, if you stripped it all out, you put yourself in a vulnerable position. You got out leveraged. You stopped learning. So based on that, okay, now I can course correct. You can. That's what's beautiful about this. You can get your self-esteem back. You can begin to build your self-esteem very quickly. By first keeping your mouth shut. What are you so worried about? What's your biggest fears? What skills and abilities do you lack? And what's your next three moves? This is the first move I'm gonna make after I do this. Then I'm gonna do this, then I'm gonna do this. Then just script out the first three plays. That's it. And then when you get that script out, three more. You wanna build your self-esteem back. You don't suffer from low self-esteem. Why suffer from anything? No. You've allowed self-esteem to creep into your life. Now you can build it back. What am I so worried about? Lay 'em all out. What skills and abilities do I lack and what's my next three moves? You do that. Bro, you're gonna be able to handle whatever you're gonna be RFA. You're gonna be ready for anything. Do you know everything? No. Will you be ready for anything? Yes. If you gotta confront, you gotta be creative. You gotta be curious. You gotta learn from situations. What can I use? You keep communicating to yourself like that, you're gonna be just fine. Alright, let's get out here. Keep it simple, keep it moving. Never settle.