902: Why You Should Keep Your Hopes, Dreams, & Ambitions Quiet 🤫

The very people who try to talk you out of your dreams are the same ones who gave up on theirs. 

Today, with Uncle Epictetus's help, I'm going to share with you why you should keep your dreams to yourself. 

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Show notes and free worksheet for this episode 👉 https://www.marshbuice.com/blog/why-you-should-keep-your-hopes-dreams-and-goals-quiet-show-notes-with-worksheet/ 

Transcript

1:30

All right, welcome back to the show. And today I wanna talk about something that can make or break your dreams. And it's a lesson that I picked up from the Art of Living by Epictetus, and it's called Never casually Discuss important Matters. Now, this isn't just some philosophical concept I. When you read this, and I'm careful about that 'cause I don't want to just parrot something and, oh, let me tell you how smart I am, and this is what I read from Epictetus. No, I want to, I want to, I wanna share something that really just resonates with me and I totally see it. That's the only time I share things is when, when it really, it really means something. And this is one of those, this is one of those things. Because protecting your goals, your ambitions, your plans, your dreams, It's everything. Too many people live half lives and that half life that they live is spent on obligations. And sadly the other half is completely unfulfilled. And a big reason is because they gave up on things that really matter to 'em. So today I'm gonna help you fix that. Let's start with what Epictetus says. Let me read it to you, and then what we'll do is we'll unpack this thing a little bit. So here's what he writes. Take care not to casually discuss matters that are of great importance to you with people who are not important to you. Your affairs will become drained of preciousness. You undercut your own purpose when you do this. This is especially dangerous when you were in the early stages of undertaking other people feast like vultures on your ideas. They take it upon themselves to blithely meaning like no interest to blithely, interpret, judge, and twist what matters most to you and your heart sinks. Let your ideas plans. Let your ideas and plans incubate before you parade them in front of naysayers and trivializes. Most people only know how to respond to an idea by pouncing on its shortfalls. Rather than identifying its potential merits, practice self containment so that way your enthusiasm won't be frittered away. Frittered means wasted away po Bro. Read that. Over and over again. So let's break this down. The first thing Epictetus warns us against is casually discussing important matters with the wrong people. People that aren't important to you. And too often it's like we're a leaking ship. We spill out our dreams, our plans, our ambitions to anyone who's gonna listen. And bro, I get it. It matters to you, but it doesn't always matter to them. Mostly it doesn't matter to them. And sometimes even the important people in your own life, you can't share your hopes, your dreams, your ambitions, your plans, not even with your family, nor your friends. Because they can, whether intentionally or unintentionally fracture your dreams. See, not everyone sees what you see. Not everyone wants to believe that something bigger is even possible. So your ambitions, these are precious, they're very valuable, they're delicate In the beginning. And if you expose them too soon, they can be crushed before they even have a chance to grow. Epictetus says Your affairs will become drained of their preciousness right now, bro, your dream is valuable. It's valuable to you, and you're the only one who can set that value. But if you share it too soon, you risk diluting those dreams you will. They'll pour into their, they'll, they'll pour their opinions and their insights and their limited perspectives onto your dreams, and it cuts it. What was once pure is now cut. It's diluted. I get it. Your goal from your vantage point, and theirs may seem impossible from where you're standing right now. That's all the more reason to keep your mouth shut, put your head down and do the work because when you share too soon, you undercut your own purpose. the blessing is you've finally woken up. Most people just drift through life. They're moving from Monday to Tuesday, from April to May, from paycheck to paycheck, and they're waiting for the weekend. They're just passing time. But you with your hopes, your dreams, your goals, your ambitions, oh you have a purpose, now you know what you're getting up for. You know what you're willing to stay up for. You know that you're no longer willing to sleep, walk through life. But you gotta protect it. Epictetus says, this is especially dangerous when you're in the early stages of undertaking. See you, you gotta think of your dream as a newborn baby. It's fragile. It needs protection, it needs care. It needs time before you expose it to the world. And if you share it too soon to Epictetus points, they're gonna feast on your ideas like vultures. They're gonna twist and distort what you're saying. They're gonna make it all about them. Oh, you haven't factored in your family. How are you gonna even do this? What about time? What about your job? Like they, they're just gonna twist and distort everything that you're saying. They're gonna make it all about them. Oh, you think that you're better than me? See, here's the thing. When you start telling people that you work with, that you no longer of your hopes, your dreams, your plans, your ambitions. When you tell people that you grow up with, you live in the same neighborhood as them. You went to the same school as them. You live in the same city as them. When you tell those people that you have some place bigger to be, higher to be, then immediately they make it about them and think, oh, you think you're better than me now? And they will do everything in their power to keep you the same, to keep you eye to eye with them, or maybe just a little bit beneath. They will remind you of their limitations. You don't have the money for this. You don't have the time for this. You're not qualified. They're gonna piss all on that. And the worst thing when they do that, they confuse you to the point where your heart sinks. And this is where most people stop. That's where they quit. Epictetus says, let your ideas and plans incubate before you parade them in front of naysayers. And trivializes love this because, see, think about this. When you incubate something, you keep it warm, you put light on it, you nurture it, and the incubation, it's, it's ducked off, it's hidden from the rest of the world. It's not prominent in front of everybody else. I. So when something is incubating, it's isolated. It's developing in secret. It's growing strong enough so that it can stand on its own. Your ideas deserve the same treatment. So that way when the time comes, it's strong enough. You ain't gotta announce it. You just do it. And by the time people realize what you've built, they're like, bro, where'd this come from? You're an overnight success all of a sudden when in truth you've been grinding in silence for years. Epictetus says most people only know how to respond to an idea by pouncing on its shortfalls rather than identifying its potential merits. Boom, most people will not see the possibility in what you're doing. Instead, they're gonna tell you why it won't work. But here's the thing, most people live without a purpose too. They're not doing anything big. They're just trying to keep things the same. They're just trying not to back up in life. But when you're not pushing forward, you're gonna eventually back up. This is why you gotta be careful. I love Epictetus. Final words, practice self-containment so that your enthusiasm won't be frittered away. I can't tell you how many times I see people on social media announcing a new thing they're about to do. Then six weeks later, they're doing something else. No progress, no consistency. One minute they're a personal trainer. Six weeks later, they're filing your taxes for you. Next thing is they're a preacher. I mean, they, they just go from thing to thing to thing. Nobody can take you seriously because you're just jumping from thing to thing to thing. Keep your mouth shut and just do the work. There's power in your silence. There's power in your focus. And here's the best part, if you do decide halfway that you don't wanna pursue the path, no one even knows about it. You just work quietly, relentlessly. It's almost as if you're living a double life. The first life is the one that everyone sees. That's the obligations. That's your regular job. That's the day-to-day responsibilities. But then there's your secret life, the second life, the productive life. You're building something. You're moving the needle every day. You're working on your dream in the background, while no one even knows that's where fulfillment lives. Think about Sarah Blakely. She's the founder of Spanx. She didn't even tell her own family what she was working on because she knew if she did, they would inject doubt and she'd lose her momentum. She built a billion dollar business while keeping it to herself. So what about you? Yeah, what's the other half of your life that you've boxed up and put away? I want you to take it back out. Don't announce it. Don't explain it. Just start. Start with what you have. Earn what you need. Get to what you want. Start with what you have, what's already readily available. Don't put yourself. In a vulnerable position. Don't borrow money from anybody that they can call the loan back or hold it over your head. Don't max out your credit cards and leave your your family vulnerable. Start with what you already have. You need to put in the time, earn what you need. Okay? After hundreds of hours, you put in the reps, you increased the efficiencies. Most of what you thought that you were starting with, thinking that you needed it. You didn't. You realize it, but you only realize it after putting in hundreds of reps and earn what you want. That's pro level, but first you gotta start. Alright, that's a good idea. Share this episode with one person who needs to start today. Keep it simple, keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough piece.