876. Happiness and Suffering : Why They Must Coexist.

In this episode, I explore the profound relationship between happiness and suffering—two forces that aren’t opposites but deeply intertwined. Drawing inspiration from James Clear’s Atomic Habits and my reflections, I uncover why happiness isn’t a permanent state but a fleeting mile marker on life’s journey.

I discuss how suffering when approached productively, becomes the driving force behind growth, discipline, and fulfillment. You’ll hear why chasing effort, not results, is the key to lasting contentment and how perfect effort—not perfect results—leads to meaningful progress.

If you’ve ever wondered why happiness feels so temporary or why challenges often reveal moments of joy in hindsight, this episode is for you. 

Discover how embracing happiness and suffering can transform your journey and lead a more fulfilling life.

This version personalizes the description and aligns it with a solo podcast style.

Transcript

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All right. 3, 2, 1. Let's get it. Welcome back to "What's Your Problem?" the podcast and today. I want to talk about something that's been on my mind. And it's a concept that I've been reflecting on after revisiting James Clear's book, Atomic Habits. I've read the book many times, but I think it's just one of those books where. You just, you need to pick a chapter from time to time. man and just dive into it. And what's interesting is I got to the end of the book. I just cracked it open to the end and there's some appendix back there. That are for some additional thoughts that are a part of the big book itself. And what I thumbed to to. Was about happiness. And suffering. And why these two aren't opposites. But they're actually deeply intertwined. Happiness and suffering. Or not two sides of the coin. They're actually on the same side. So let's dive in. Because if you've ever wondered why happiness feels so fleeting. or why challenges often lead to moments of clarity and joy. This is going to be a good episode for you. So first let's talk about the source of unhappiness and think about this for a moment. When you're unhappy. It's rarely because of the result itself. It's not the credit card debt. Or the love handles that make you unhappy. It's the inaction that led to those results. The real dissatisfaction. Comes from knowing that you didn't take the steps needed. To prevent them. I mean, think about that. You think in this current state of unhappiness? It's this moment. I've put on too much weight. My credit cards are maxed out. And you think it's that that's not the source of your happiness. It's everything that led up to that. And this is where suffering. Productively. Comes into play for you. Because a form of suffering. Is confronting who you are. And what you do every single day. It's why confrontation is so key. It's one of the five life skills. That you must develop. That is the framework for what's your problem? Communication curiosity, creativity, continuous learning, and action and productive confrontation. So a productive form of suffering. Is confronting who you are and what you do. Every single day. And it's holding yourself accountable. Being honest about your choices. And doing what's necessary to grow. This kind of suffering isn't destructive, most people think of suffering as destructive. This kind of suffering is not destructive at all. It's really productive. Because it's going to create this productive tension. And it's that tension. That drives the progress. Now on the other side. You got to realize I'm learning this. That happiness. Isn't a permanent state. It's fleeting by nature. And that's okay. It's more so like a pulse. Happiness should be a temporary comfort. More. So like a rest area. Not a vacation spot. And so when you see happiness as temporary, you stop. You reflect. You recharge. And then you lace up and you keep going. Treating happiness. Like a permanent vacation spot. That's going to lead to complacency. So here's a shift. In perspective that has really helped me. Chase the effort, not the results. Results are fleeting. They're going to come and go, but the effort. The energy, the discipline that you put into meaningful actions. That's what is that's what's going to sustain you. Happiness is perfect effort. Without an attachment. To needing perfect results. And when I say perfect effort, I don't mean. That it's going to be a 10. I just mean that. Perfect. Means that you go all chips in you don't pull your punch. You don't. Pull back some of your energy, you don't worry about the results, chase the effort, not the results. So you just, you go head first in. And it's liberating and freeing. Because you don't have an attachment. To needing perfect results. The results are going to be what they are. It's kind of like bowling. Once you release the ball, you can lean all kinds of different ways. It's going to go where it goes. And you can lean away from the gutter. Sometimes you're going to hit the gutter. But see the effort itself is what makes the journey worthwhile. The suffering you embrace. That you volunteer for? To stay disciplined to take action. To push you through the discomfort. That's the foundation. Of real fulfillment. James clear describes happiness. As the absence of desire. It's a brief moment. Where you feel no need to change your state. But you got to realize that moment is temporary. Because new desires. Always emerge. And that's a good thing. It's a real good thing. Because this is what's going to keep you moving forward. So let's break it down. Happiness. Is it about reaching? A specific state. And when you think of a state, think of whatever state you live in right now, California, California. Happiness. Isn't about reaching a specific state. In the state of becoming debt-free. or hitting your goal weight. Because those moments are fleeting. I mean when I've been at my quote unquote ideal weight. Or I've had the financial security. Happiness. Didn't linger. I thought all this time, I would be at this specific point. And be like, ah, There's not. Uh, quickly found myself like, all right, what's next? It's because. The happiness is more so like a pulse. And so I felt it. And I was pushing for it, but when I got it, It was like, what else is there? It's because your desires. Are always changing. This is why happiness is less about achieving a destination. And more so about the act of pursuing something meaningful. Think of happiness, more so like a trip. And along the way. Along your trip. They're going to be these mile markers. And these mile markers. Are these points where you reflect. More, so like a pulse until you check that pulse and you're like, yeah. I'm beating toward that success. But the journey never ends. You're never going to be at inbox zero. Where you're just like, ah, But so many times, man, that's where we deceive ourselves and we think, oh, if only I could do this. There's always going to be challenges ahead. And this is where the suffering comes in, productive, suffering. Suffering. Is the space between craving a change and achieving it. It's the discomfort where you feel that you're working towards something better. And that's a good thing. When you think about it like that. Let me read that to you again, suffering is the space. Space. I love that analogy. It's the space between craving a change. And achieving it. It's the discomfort that you feel. While you're working towards something better. But when that suffering is productive. When it's tied to something meaningful. And the effort is meaningful. It leads to happiness. But it's a pulse. It's going to be fleeting. Viktor Frankl said happiness cannot be pursued. It must ensue. It's the by-product. Of effort and action. So, how do you sustain happiness? You got to make it a game. You got to gamify it man. What's the challenger pursuit that excites you. What drives you? What makes you frustrated? What makes you grit your teeth a little bit? What makes you dig into the dirt? What makes you come back at it the next day? You got to have a game. Because without a game. Without something to chase. You risk complacency. And complacency. Erodes discipline. So you've got to respect the journey. And everything that comes along with it. The highs. The lows, the challenges. They're all part of it. Happiness is not a state of if then. If I lose the weight, then I'll be happy. If I get debt-free, then I'll be happy. It's not a state. It's more so of a journey of "if/then" where the process of taking action. Making progress. As the source of fulfillment. If I do this productively. Then. It'll lead. To a good result. I'm just putting myself in alignment. And that's what the suffering is every single day. It's checking your alignment. And making the adjustments in your alignment. And you just keep going. And when you look at happiness. As a mile marker as a temporary state. Then it becomes more so. About the effort. And not the result. Because you're embracing. Productive suffering. So here's the takeaway. Happiness and suffering. Must coexist. They got to. Because without suffering. There'd be no desire to change. To grow or to achieve. Anything worthwhile anything new? Suffering. When it's intentional. And tied to meaningful goals. dude this is what fuels progress. Happiness on the other hand. Is the fleeting moment. Fleeting. It's not going to be a permanent state. Stop chasing a permanent state. It's not going to be there. It's going to be fleeting. And so when you feel these pulses of happiness, Reflect on the progress. It's a rest area. But it's never going to be a final destination. And so when you embrace this dynamic, this is where you can find joy in the journey. And meaning in the struggle. All right, let's get outta here. Thanks for tuning in today. This episode resonated with you. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Let's keep this conversation going. I'm on all the socials DME. There are, you can go to my name.com. That's M a R S H B U I C E. And a bottom, right. Is a mic from you to me, let me know what's going on in your world. And how I can help. As always remember, keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough peace.