860. When did you stop wondering & start wandering?

When did you stop wondering? What happened? Who or what killed it & what did you do to plug the hole where it was ripped from? 

The good news is that you can stop & start right now. 

Transcript

0:01

I want to read to you. Something that. Just really is profound. And I titled this episode. When did you stop? Wondering. And began. Wandering. And I'm adding the emphasis on the "a" wandering around stumbling bumbling. And we lost our wonder. And, you know, pick up this passage from gay Hendrix's book, conscious living. And it was so profound, man. It just. It just leaped. Leaped, whatever the word is. It just jumped out there at me. So, let me read this to you, man. Gay Hendricks rights. If you keep your wonder alive. You're on the path of conscious living. When your wonder dies. When you quit asking the big questions. When you settle into a life of roles. Rituals. Routines. And really just. A comfortable life. You begin to live a life of justification. Rather than a life. Of exploration. And when you turn into a life of justification. Something precious. Dies within you. You know, I can tell you this firsthand. That every day. The. Walls of judgment. An opinion. I constantly try to squeeze in on me. Especially as I get older. And the wolves. Of. Satisfaction. And complacency. Are always nipping at my heels. And that is something, man, that you have to realize. Is never going to go away for you. It's always going to be there for you. And I'm blessed. To know. That reading every day. Writing. And sharing. I have become that. Forcing function for me. It's become my morning ritual. That. Keep the walls of. Judgment and opinion. From closing in on me. And they keep the wolves. Of satisfaction and complacency. They keep them at bay. But if you think for one minute that you're ever going to get to a certain level in life, And not have to deal with uncertainty, adversity, and complacency. It's just going to be set it and forget it. You're going to be in for a hard life. It's never going to go away. And so. The actions of reading. In writing. And communicating. What I read and write. Oftentimes just with myself, I just use the medium. Of a podcast, but that's not for everybody, but I use the medium of a podcast. To articulate that message. If anything, if for no other reason, if nobody listened to any of these episodes, It's a way for me to. write Spend time with myself, unpack the thoughts, interpret it. What does it mean to me? And it cultivates wonder. And prevents me from caving. into wandering wandering. Stumbling. And bumbling around the Hendrix goes on to say, That when he. He was a therapist when he worked with clients. He would have the clients. Bring in childhood photos at various ages and stages in their life. And he said there was always one photo. That showed a time. When wonder. Was no longer visible on their face. And he asked them. What happened? What killed it? And how did you plug the hole? Where it was ripped from. That is such a powerful. Image. You go back and look at. Old photos of yourself. Childhood or various stages. I bet you, you could spot it in yourself real quick. The turning point. What happened? Who or what killed it? And what did you do to plug the hole? And you plugged it probably with. Accepting. Giving up. Probably numbed yourself to the pain. With vices. Eating drinking. Toxic people. Work. Just gave up. When was that time for you? When was that time for you that you lost? You're wonder. And just accepted a life. Of wandering. Accepting a life. Of it is what it is. see had I not been committed to. Writing something every day. And really. I wandered into this. I stumbled. Into. Reading and writing. I didn't read my first book until I was 25. I got all through high school. Mostly through college. I have 18 hours and never finished. But mostly through college. Never read a book. And. The first book I ever read was because I was just trying to figure out. How to get out of the casino life. And get into. A real job. No shade to those who work at a casino or just, it just wasn't for me. And so I just, I didn't see a future. Let me say it like that. I didn't see a future. In that field. And I began to wonder. Because I was tired of wandering. And that's what happens. We live in three points in life. Point a wake up point B go to work point C, go to bed. Rinse and repeat. And life gets stale, boring. Uh, depressing. And we just give up. So when I was at my lowest point in life. The only thing I could turn to was reading. So. I began to read. But then I wanted to do something with what I read. And so. I wandered. Emphasis on the a, I wandered into writing. I just started writing word for word. And see. The reading. And the. Writing. Began to cultivate. The wonder. I began to question. What I was reading. And instead of writing word for word. Because sometimes you have to borrow someone else's voice and thinking until you can develop your own. I was at a tough point in my life. Dark point. Suicidal. Giving up. Wandering. And so that mechanism. Began to make me pick up the pen and wonder. What is my life about? Where am I going? What are my dreams? How far can I go? How can I get out of this mess? How can I get my life back on track? How can I attract good people into my life? How can I do something more? With the talents. The God has blessed me with. And so that act. Of reading. And writing. Began. To put me on the path of embodying. Living that life. And then sharing it with you. I can tell you this, that the last episode, episode 8 59. Who was critical for me. Because. Wondering and wandering. Uh, really, really close to one another. And if you're not cautiously. Wondering. Questioning. Asking big questions. Looking at what you're doing every day. And performing a process that cultivates that, not just do the process, but actually just triggers it. If you're not doing that. You're going to slip into. Wondering. Drifting along. Point a. To point B to point C wake up. Go to work. Go home. Rinse and repeat. And you slip into this life of. Complacency. And you justify it away. And over beers you say. This is what I could have done. So last week's episode. And putting in a, a small grading system. Has become. A powerful. Reflective mechanism for me. In the mornings. Super simple grade one to five. Yesterday, how well did you communicate one to five? Five being the best one being not so good. Yesterday. How creative were you? One to five. How curious were you? One to five. What did you learn today? One to five. What did you confront in yourself? And possibly others. One to five. Just give myself a quick grade. And it brings in awareness. It makes me question. What did I do yesterday? And how can I build on that? And improve on that. For the rest of my life. In short, how can I. Wonder. And not wonder. Because you can't. Just coast. You can't. Just think. That this is enough. This is good. There's more for you. And I'm not talking about money. I'm talking about wealth. Spiritual mental, physical, financial. Relational. I'm so grateful. For these messages I got to share with you. Because I share them with myself. And it makes me question. What am I doing? Where am I going? What is it leading to? Is it progressive? Is it impactful? For my family. For myself. And for the community at large. My daughter's in a crucial stage in her life right now. Critical Sage. She's a junior in high school. And so now she's at the point where she's questioning. What do I want to do after high school? It becomes a sobering reality that, oh my God, I'm about to be an adult. Like what happens after this? And instead of just. Wandering into doing what everybody else does. And they wonder into college and rack up hundreds of thousands of dollars of student loan debt. And I was explaining to her, so you can't bankrupt that. You can't just say, oh, that plan didn't work. They're going to send you a bill. And what happens is, as I was explaining to her, what happens is, is people. Youth, they get into college. They just do something. Most times they drop out. If they do finish, they re-enroll because they still don't know. Won't know what they want to do. So they just get another degree. Are they just wonder out of college? And they have to grab the first thing. That pays the bills and covers the student loan debt. And that's where the trap. Get set. Actually the trap was set way before junior year in high school. What do I want to do? And so I'm telling her. I support you in whatever you want to do. But I'm glad that you're asking these questions. What do I do? And at any time you can cut bait and go a different direction. Sometimes it's good to dig in other times, it's good to not chase the sunk cost. And say. This isn't for me, whatever it is. And that you constantly question. What you're doing. And I'm grateful that I can help her with this because my three sons, I didn't do that. I didn't do that because I was wandering I was just working in sales, working a gig. Making. A hundred thousand dollars a year. Whatever it was one 50. Got a nice car. Got a house with a swimming pool. Wake up. Go to work. Come home. New month. Back to zero. Fight to get the month. great month, poor month. Start over. Well, they were looking at dad and they were like, well, this is what he does. This is what I'm going to do. And so they were shoved out in the life. wandering along. Because I was wandering and I'd stopped. Wondering. And asking the big questions. I won't allow that. for my daughter. And I won't allow that for my wife. I won't let them wander. Because I start my mornings. Wondering. It sets the tone, the reading. The writing. The sharing. The communicating with myself and others. Sets the tone. Instead of sets the trap. And let me tell you this what's beautiful. Number one. I want you to question. When did I lose my wonder? What happened? Who or what killed it? What do I do to plug the hole? Question that. Don't get too down in the rabbit hole. Don't kick the can down the road. Because. Immediately. As soon as you hear this message. You can stop wandering. Stumbling along. And begin to wonder. What else is there for me, dude? I'm 51 years old. I have squandered. If. Being generous. At least two decades of my life. I could spend that time. Wandering. Saying. What happened? What happened to the time? Arkan spend the rest of my life. Wondering. What can I do from here? That's what I want for you. Let's get out of here. Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough peace.