831. 3 Ways To Use Regrets To Your Advantage

In today's episode of "What's Your Problem?" I'm tackling a topic that touches everyone but is rarely leveraged as a tool for growth: regrets. Whether it's actions you regret taking or opportunities you missed, I'll show you why regrets don't have to be your downfall. Join me as I share practical strategies to transform regrets from burdens into boosters, helping you navigate past mistakes with wisdom and courage. Let's learn how to use those regrets to rocket ourselves towards a better future.

What You'll Gain by Listening:
- Insight into Different Types of Regrets: I'll help you understand the emotional impacts of regrets, whether they stem from actions taken or opportunities missed.
- Strategies to Cauterize Regrets: I'll share how to 'cauterize' your regrets, stopping the bleeding and preventing them from clouding future decisions.
- Techniques to Find Silver Linings: Discover how to uncover the hidden lessons in regretful situations and find that silver lining that can change your perspective.
Actionable Steps for Moving Forward: Learn how to adjust and move, turning theoretical insights into concrete actions that lead to personal growth and better decision-making.
Building Resilience: I'll discuss how facing your regrets head-on builds resilience and prepares you for future challenges.

Tune in to transform how you view and handle regret. Let's turn those regrets into stepping stones for success.

📣Who needs to hear this episode? Share it and help grow the show.

🛑 Watch & subscribe to episodes on my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiNqFo05MJ6_yCu1vJ3rX4A

📝Leave a quick rating and review for any platform: https://www.marshbuice.com/reviews/new/

🗣Coaching: https://www.marshbuice.com/p/the-sales-life-coaching-program/

📲Share: https://www.marshbuice.com/episodes/

🤝See my daily stories: https://www.instagram.com/marshbuice/

👩‍💻 FREE Content! www.marshbuice.com

Transcript

0:00

So three ways to use regrets to your advantage boy. We don't like regrets and regrets really come in two different forms. Right. And they both stem from emotions. It's things that we should have done. And things that we shouldn't have done. So when it comes to regrets, things that we should have done, these are missed opportunities. You know, and are there sometimes we had that. That inner feeling, we should have jumped on it and we didn't do it. We didn't trust ourselves enough. Sometimes we just didn't even see it. And it's only evident in hindsight. And we big lip it, we get pissed off at ourselves. And we think less of ourselves because we didn't see it enough to jump on it, or we weren't bold enough or courageous enough to jump on it. And then there's the things we shouldn't have done. And maybe we were premature in, in jumping forward. Maybe we only assembled people around us are only sought advice from people who. Thought like us. We didn't want anybody to tell us. No, we didn't want any naysayers. So we avoided that crowd or maybe it was something that you said. Or did. And now that regret weighs heavily on you, but. Regrets are not necessarily a bad thing if you didn't have regrets. Think about this. If you didn't have regrets, you wouldn't grow. You don't want to torch things nor do you want to avoid them when it comes to regrets. But you can use them to your advantage. You can't get the situation necessarily back, but you can use it as leverage to move forward. And I want to give you just three ways. To use regrets to your advantage versus just sitting here. Beating the shit out of yourself. Lamenting on things that you should have done or shouldn't have done. So the first way to use regret. To your advantage. Is cauterize it, when you cauterize something you seel at all right, you don't make the situation worse. So when you regret something, cauterize it.. Draw the line. Most regrets are two way doors. Very few times. Are they one way doors, two way doors. Mean that you can go through them. And you did something regretful or said something regretful or missing opportunity, regretful, whatever. But you can go back. Through the door again. And start a new very few times. Are they one way doors? One way doors are, it's the point in overturn? You can't go back. we really make them one way doors. Through our condemnation, ego pride, and we just refused. Not doing that. Or we just go into victim stay. Oh, I mean, nothing ever happens right to me. And we get into this victim state. And we make it a one way door. Most regrets are two way doors. Even if it's a point in overturn, even if it's torched, Okay. It is still a two way door and the sense that you can build a new from there. Are, you could go back through the door and start a new again. It may take a little time to get the warm and fuzzy feelings back. It may take time to build the trust again. But if you stay with it and you don't continue to replay that situation, you cauterize it, then you can begin to build from there. You got to look at the cauterize moments. As divots. And why. Best way to describe a divot. Is you ever watch golf or the highlights? You ever watch golf and then they, they take the swing and the club carves out a big hunk of sod when they take the swing. So the ball. And the sod go along with it.. Well, that's what a divot is. Are you may think back in. In a front yard football days when you didn't have a football tee. So what'd you do when you took the back of your heel, you pounded it into the ground until it caused a divot. And now you got an instant football tee and that way you can kick off. Uh, to, to your homeboys on the other end of the yard. The divot caused the ball to be able to stand up and now you can kick it off. That's what a divot is. Regrets are divots. So this big hunk. Is missing. But what you can do is, is you can mentally plant your foot. Back in that divot. And what looks like it was missing or what was missing before. Now you can put your metal foot in there and push off. And that gives you a little bit more leverage. That's how you have to look at it. The second way to use regret to your advantage. Is silver line it. There's a silver lining in every situation. But it's not always going to be blatantly evident. And sometimes you have to analyze it. You have to look at it. It's kinda like a dog staring at his own shit. Right. You know, and I don't know what they're looking for, but they're analyzing it. They're smelling for something. And that's what you have to do as shitty as your situation may be. You do have to look at it. And if you analyze it, you'll find the silver lining in that. You know, it's, it's like what? Oh, uncle Ray Daleo says pain plus reflection equals progress. So in these moments, when you find the silver lining are looking for the silver lining, now, what you got to do is, is you have to analyze that you have to reflect on that. And this is the power of journaling. This is the power of writing these things out. Contextualizing your thoughts. You're not just necessarily. You know, beating yourself up on paper. But when you began to write down what the situation is and began to try to figure out how I can find. The, the disconnect. That's what you're looking for. You're looking for the disconnects. You're looking for the lessons. You looking for the aha moments. You're looking for the silver lining one powerful method that will help you is to emotionally distance yourself from it. so when you journal, you actually write it. As a letter, as a letter to yourself. In other words, I would write a letter from marsh. And then I would write a letter back to marsh, meaning that the, the regretful marsh or write down, I did this, this, this, this is the moment. This is the blow back. And then on, on another sheet of paper or many papers later, Because it might be a minute. Then, what you'll do is your right to let her back to yourself. And this is a way of emotionally distancing yourself as if you're giving someone else advice, but that someone is the past. You. And that's the power of journaling. That I talk about so often. So, what were the do Wells? What are the do betters ? The do Wells are okay. This was a bad situation, but you actually did pretty good. Here's a, here's a bright spot. Here's a win. What are the do batters? Okay. What are the things that you totally missed shortcomings that you need to do better on? These are moments that you can. In essence, it's really asking the main question, which is. What can I extract from this situation? And apply it as I move forward. That's really what it is. So it may be an icky situation. It may be super tough. But you'll get there. You'll find the silver lining, but this is all mindset. You get what you're looking for. If you're looking for something that I can extract and use to my advantage, to make me a better person, to make my situation better, to make my future more aligned. Then you'll find it. And it's always worth it. It's always worth it. When you can sit here and use these three things, these three techniques over regret. Dude, you're going to come out on top. You're going to come out ahead on this, the third one. Since you're asking him what's number three, marsh. The third one. Is adjust and go So to back up the truck a little bit. The first thing we're going to do with regrets is we're not going to sit here and kick the can down the road. We're not gonna sabotage and make things worse. Number one is we're going to cauterize it. We're going to seal it off. We're going to use that divot to our advantage, and we're gonna learn from it. Then we're going to silver line it. We're going to find the silver lining. We're going to find something usefulout of it. And then the third thing is, we're going to adjust and go. It's not enough to necessarily just cauterize it it, analyze it. Now you got to do something with it. Now you have to make the adjustment and go. You've already. Looked at and asked these self-reflective questions, the shortfalls, the shortcomings. What is useful from this moment? Because dude, you can't move forward by looking back. You can remember the past, just don't say there. Continue to build, build from here and do it. Let me tell you something. There's going to be people who are going to remind you of your shortfalls. There are going to be people who are going to always throw it up in your face. You do. These three things you cauterize it. You learn from it by analyzing it. And now you adjust and go. It may mean that the people who keep throwing it in your face, if they're not willing to build with you, then that may mean that you have to emotionally distance yourself from them. Sorry, it's painful, but that's the truth. Why continue to go back? To your own vomit. Okay, you fucked up. All right. You miss some things you shouldn't have done some things. Okay. What are you going to do from here? And this is where people can't recover. They can't recover. Cause they just sit here and stay in the regretful state versus using it. As leverage to build from there to make them a better person to make their situation better, to make their future. And those who are part of their future, even better. So the last one is adjust and go, man. You're going to have to build this momentum again. Keep thinking, keep iterating, keep questioning, keep building, lay the brick, man. Put a process in. May mean that you have to eliminate some things. What are some of the things that caused that triggered go back to the first day principal? What it was that first day that led to the regretful state. That's a great. Analysis that you can make, what was the first day? And now you can spot the first day. So you don't put yourself in that situation. So you're putting in a process and you work a process and the process keeps you from going off the feeder road. The process keeps you from negotiating with yourself and condemning yourself to, so now what you do is you just build from there. Look, regrets are going to happen. They're going to, and they're not all bad. Some things you should have done. Some things you shouldn't have done, but either way you can learn from either one of them regrets cause you to grow, they force you to grow. They shake you up. They wake you up. And it doesn't mean that you have to torch everything and it doesn't mean all is lost. It means that this is a setup for a better situation. For a better outcome. To make you a better person. These are all super, super necessary. But you'll never find that. If you sit there and let regrets drag you down. Regrets can actually take you up. If you find the leverages in those cauterize it. Analyze, adjust and go. All right. With that, let's get out of here. Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough peace